calming down...

on paper it seems easy to say... ok. ill wake up at 8-- do hw until 10. work from 11-11 and then come home and be in bed around 1130 so i can be up tomorrow at 8am and do it all over....
but.
when i come home at 11... im wide eyed.
i just spent 12 hours running my booty off-- dealing with people--
and yes my body is exhausted (from literally standing and running for 12 hours), my brain is fried from thinking so much-- but sleep?! i can't do it.

not yet.

i have to chill out.
calm down.
and just wait until i get so worn out i can fall asleep.

so thats what im doing now...
calming down. slowing down. thinking about sleep.

perhaps a warm shower will help.
-----

long day of school tomorrow...

peace & love

night owl

ive never been a night owl... but in college i pulled some late nights.
i ALWAYS got my 8 hours in... but i would stay up LATE!
its 11 and im DONE.
i was going to try and stay up late to do work... since i can sleep in before work...
but i can't.
can't stay awake.

i guess im getting old?!

or maybe my warm cozy REAL bed... with my sweet husband laying beside me... thats far better than any late night of school work. and in college-- i had neither of those things.

to bed i go.
love & peace

comment happy

i was glad to see so many comments :: and by that i mean 3:: about the mountains. it reminds me that people DO read my blog!

here i am again.
procrastinating.

i think its the best part of blogs.

took my first 'assessment' test today.
im sure i did find on it-- which is a relief.

lab today (3 1/2 hours of being in a fake hospital cubicle without windows) was fun today. only because my lab partner is hilarious. we laugh so much. and have lots of fun. don't get me wrong, we are working really hard to get down the info and skills--- like today-- testing each cranial nerve. muscle strength. and various a sundry other random skills.
we have fun.
today our professor ::who is slightly crazy herself:: came over and started laughing at us. and was calling US crazy! and laughing about us being out of control! of course-- she graded our assessment and said we did a great job!! which is nice-- but told us in real life to be it together a bit more. hahaa.... oh well. she was laughing. we were laughing.
its a fun environment.

and really... if you only knew how crazy--- and odd-- this professor is-- you could understand how funny it is that she called US crazy!

oh well. it was a good fun day.
now time for the never-ending homework and reading.
ekkkkkkKKKK


oh but... the weather is finally AMAZING.
highs in the seventies!
lows in the FORTIES!

fall = perfection

love & peace

day dreamer...

...right now... the back porch door is open... the rain is pouring... its dark out... i have my 'pumpkin butter' candle burning... nice calming music playing... and im dreaming about living in the mountains.

i think my very wooded and hilly back yard makes me feel like im in the mountains... so i like to pretend im there. right now.

and the fact we have made our macminn family christmas plans... which will be taking place at a mountain cabin... i just can't get the mountains out of my mind.

i can't wait to live there.

because i will... one day.

or at least have a tiny little cabin on a mountain.
one day.

.....but for now.... i should get back to studying.
so i can one day make enough money to buy the previously mentioned tiny mountain cabin.

until that day... ill just be dreaming.
and smelling candles.
and pretending.

thankful

for rainy sundays with the windows in the house open...
... cool breeze blowing through the house
...smell of rain everywhere
... music lightly playing in the background
...delicious milkshakes
... a full day of studying
... an amazing sermon at the chapel today

it was a fantastic sunday.
tomorrow is a long long day of studying.

love & peace

perfect start to a saturday at work..... empty waiting room. if only it will stay this way

ugh.

my test was so annoying.
it would not load
--yes it was online--
when it finally loaded- it would not save all of my answers.
when i finally hit SUBMIT
it said "error: cannot submit"
ummmmmmmmm

yeah.
ive called my prof & emailed multiple times.
no response.

that was yesterday.

i tried to go back in to 'retake' the test perhaps...
nope would not let me do that either.

frustrated.

i think im going to go out with ryan tonight.
celebrate something.
how about life.
and being in love and married to my best friend- the greatest guy ever.

that sounds like a good reason.

love & peace

study study study....

sunday: i studied probably 10 hours
monday: worked 8 hours, studied around 4 hours
today: class 8 hours, studied a few more

i'd like to think i was ready for this pathophysiology test

i actually feel good about the material

but that makes me wonder....

i relaxed by making cookies tonight, talking to the bestie, and reading a new book (just a chapter- to keep my mind off of school)

test time: wednesday morning
bring it on grad school

::ahh the weekend::

i did my first irresponsible thing as a grad student this weekend....
i took a day off.
crazy-- i know.
i spent around 10 hours NOT doing any school or work related thing...
and i had a blast.

i was a bit anxious about not doing my work, but looking back im so glad i spent my saturday having fun. i think taking a day off once a month is a very very good idea.

so saturday... ryan and i went to the alabama/duke football game.

we tailgated, ate free food, hung out with our awesome friends, and just enjoyed life.
it was wonderful... even if we were destroyed by alabama.
we spent a lot of the game coming up with a million reasons why, although alabama is good at football-- we are better at a lot of other things.
it was such a fun day.

these are a few of my FAVORITE durham people:

the nicest, funniest, loving, most down to earth people i have ever known.
these guys and lovely lady are so dear to me.
i am so grateful to have them in my life.
(and yes. 3 of them are wearing alabama gear)

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

anyway... after a SUPER FUN day yesterday...
i have spent today in the books.
probably will total out the day with around 10 hours of doing school work?!! yeahhhh. its unreal. but its all good. i loveeee it.

off to study... first big test is wednesday.

love & peace
bort

busy....

sorry no posts. ive been just smidgen busy.
worked 15 hours on wednesday.
spent 4 hours in pathophys yesterday.
then somewhere at sometime i cooked dinner, did some homework, and tried to spend as much time with ryan as i possibly could.

another busy long day-- but thankfully i have the weekend (tom and sun) off.
its a good thing-- i have a TON of homework to fill up my time.

love & peace
a busy lil bee

ears

today we got out the fake ears to practice seeing what a 'sick' ear looks like on the inside...

pretty disgusting.

but kinda cool.

i enjoyed it. :)
and once again.... they are FAKE. made of plastic.

we also had fake eyeballs.... but i didn't take a pic of those

sunshine

tuesdays i sit in class from 9am-4:30pm
i have an hour break for lunch.
today... im spending it outside.
if not my body lacks sunshine...
oh yeah... because i forgot to mention...
that long class... is in a classroom without windows.

ps i love school though. and class. at least today.

fried pickles

im pretty sure... when i was a kid... and making a list of all the perfect qualities i would want in my husband.... the ability to make fried pickles... was a must.

after a long busy monday at work i came home to a surprise.....

....homemade fried pickles.

appetizer to a delicous dinner my husband made.

i. am. so blessed. so so so blessed.

not only can my husband cook--
he has mastered the art of making fried pickles.
(they are one of my all time favorite food items!)

off to revamp and do some homework.

love & peace

struggling...

to understand patho....
...after working 8 hours

im hoping its just because i worked all day in a stressful environment.
my brain is mush.
i CAN get it.
i know i can.

if anyone out there has a good way to explain the pathophysiology of anaphylaxis-- id love to hear.

off to read a lil more before bed.
peace & love
a tired blue devil

2 reasons to be grateful in the midst of everything.... two cute, sweet notes from two dear friends

survived.

week two that is.... although tomorrow is a day FULL of school.
and sunday is my last day of work this week.
so technically its not over.
sunday night at 7pm when i get off work... then it will be over.

its been a week to say the least.
frustration. overwhelmed. craziness. some relief. then more frustrations.
its going to be a wild ride this year.
im so grateful i have my wonderful husband at my side.
without him i would not be able to do it.

its a wonderful 64 degrees out... i just left a friends house- where we were sitting outside chatting and just relaxing. it was SO NICE. felt AMAZING. i loved it.
and then last night ryan & i went out for a delicious dessert (just to treat ourselves). we went to our favorite french bakery and i had the most wonderful cheescake. again we sat outside and just enjoyed ourselves....

mmmm north carolina nights. how i love them.

well off to bed-
big day of studying and reading and writing tomorrow.

peace & love
bort

wednesday... the mid week hump

for most people this is the mid week hump- but in my life i dont feel i have such a thing.
unfortunetly.

im working part of the weekend- therefore this work week will go right into next week.
i did have a long break from work this past weekend... but no actual work- just means more time for school work. which is a good thing...

so far im still loving school.
lots of work- but not too crazy yet.
i enjoy my classes and actually feel like i am learning so much.
oh well.
that's an update on my life.

in other news: please keep the jackson family in your prayers. Heath was killed monday morning in his home after someone attempted to rob him/ he was 25 years old and an amazing musician. he was a strong christian and worked with a lot of ministries in columbus. i knew him in high school- we were both involved in an organization called Teen Advisors. talk about a shock to the city- i know there are lots of torn of friends and family members back home. keep them all in your prayers.

alsooooo my new cousin: chase.... pray for him. no details are needed- just some issues with severe headaches and some brain swelling. really scary stuff.

well- its wednesday. i hope your week is flying by, and your weekend comes quickly.
im off to do a little pathophysiology.

love & peace

my new life..... inside duson studying away. and yes. those are crayola colored pencils. have to have a lil fun in my studies

sunday night dinner with the neighbors :)

from one football game to another. again a perfect day to sit outside and take in duke athletics :)

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perfect night for football.... seventy degrees and gorgeous!

photography

its a passion of mine.
it makes my heart beat fast.
it gets me excited.
i was lucky enough to have the opportunity to take my new sister in laws bridal portraits.
i was sooo nervous.
what if i screw up!? what if she hates them?! what am i doing?!
thankfully-- they turned out well.
im thinking i might do a little more photography in my future...

here are just a few of the 480 i took...

inspiring

the first day of class was just that.
made me want to be an fnp so much more!
got me so excited about my future profession!
and made me love duke even more!
granted... ill be giving duke money for years, i feel they are giving me an amazing education that will last a lifetime. i say... its worth it in the end.
i mean its the #15 nursing program in the COUNTRY
so ugh... thats pretty darn amazing.

it was a good day- met some new friends/study partners- and got my first week load of assignments. couple hundred pages of reading, 3 online quizzes, 6 videos to watch, and a large comprehensive health history write up... none of that is actually DIFFICULT-- its just a lot. and well im sure it will just continue to accumulate.

im ready. and im excited.
off to work now... not excited about that though.
hopefully i can get some reading done throughout the day though.
i can always be hopeful right?!?!

love & peace
your one & only blue devil